The truth of the matter is - being the extroverted person I was - You learn that being a dead introverted egocentric maniac makes you a happier person. Oblivion and Ignorance in todays existence...That's ecstasy.
Fuck the world I say....
To which my friend responds with : "Which world?"
Everyone but yours.
So I decide to rise, and I make a toast; but no one raises their glasses with me and I praise to an empty crowd "For the last man standing on the earth, he shall know what popularity is, he shall know the truth of being notorious...Life is solemn."
An old man questions my faith, as he did some time ago "So, now your life has changed, do you still believe in god?"
I reply..."Do I? Of course I do.."
He looks puzzled as he tempers his beard..He replies with, I find that a little surprising..
So I shout back "Do you think with no reluctance in my life I should give up my faith? You may call to God and he may not answer, but he is always on time."
The man looked back at me even more astounded than before,
I reply with " Do I believe in time he will give me that same answer and relief he has for many? No. Not in this life time. A beckoning sinner and rioter that I am; God has no reason to pursue my interests yet I follow."
He questions me once more; "Then why believe?"
I find a tear dribble from the left corner of my eye "Because its the only thing in life that I really have to believe in"
A damned fool he took me for "You have yourself, Your life is the only thing anyone can't have control over, and I think that it's weakened by fostering dependency on some higher power"
I drew my rifle, and I blew the old mans head clear off his shoulders and took what he did have to own, and paced my way back home.
To the man or women with the audacity to come forth and tell me the lies set forth by the millions we know. Feel obligated to begin rather indulging me in your queries and qualms and we shall be finished in due time...
Part Deux
An old man once looked upon me and said "
This can't be the case with you, because you've already admitted that god is nonsense."
To which I replied " God is nonsense. People follow God as a safety net. That the world will and can end at any moment and when judgement day arrives they want to be able to say "Yes, I did follow your footsteps and I am not at the pearly white gates, Yes, Take me into your gates and let me be your cattle""
He grabbed me by my wrist and rattled my mind when he spurt into my ear "Nonsense! Now you're just rattling off platitudes. What do you actually believe?"
"I dont believe in anything. But I believe in everything"
The old man's face filled with rage he asked me " Do you have a legitimate backing for this, or are you just trying to make your absence of a belief system sound interesting by constantly using paradox??"
"No, but you seem rather annoyed"
"A little" he responded
To which I quote " You can't honestly come up with a good legitimate statement that backs up something unexistant, You of all people should know that."
"I only speak in circles to tether your thoughts in lue to lose you"
"Why would you do that?" the old man cried.
A gun shot alarms the neighborhood, but only one bullet was fired as they both fell silently
A mental illusion that's created while reading, a total mental fascination with unwinding the truth, and what was just read - You're only a breath away from uncovering my hatred - I cast stones just to start another war.
