I am a terrified monster, I am scared of my own shadow
I am lost in a sea where all else matters
I believe in my superfluous nightmares, I scream in horror, a soul screeching ear bleeding terror.

I creased the day that she'd finally love me, I begged for her in the utmost soul diminishing way

I cried for nights waiting for you, mercy have your soul upon me

I am just a weak willed man.

You rang my door, and you had open arms
You came to me, and told me "I'd love to be your girl"
You filled my heart with joy, but who are you to tell me you're not perfect?
You spent your days sitting in a coffin, words of suffocation and hatred

You turned putrid in mind, but I was prepared to repair that and paint you proud.

We came together in an empty room, you held my hand and I felt yours
We shared our moments, breathing, crying, and fleeing each other too.
We ran to the deepest corners, but we always wound up as two.
We fell together, in perfect harmony, and we believed we were in love.
We are in love. We are soulmate's. We are to become one.

I ask you for forgiveness not because I wronged you, again. I ask you forgiveness because I don't always treat you the way a real man should. Sometimes I put my fears ahead of myself, I put them infront of you and I let them control the wheel.

I don't know what I'm writing. I'm just begging for you to please lose the feeling of hatred for yourself. Please forgive me for my words. Please forgive me for how I reacted. Please forgive me for being me.

Informal apology

You didn't know me; and I didn't know you - but we started to get along with perfect harmony.
I craved you more and more but I was hardly unaware
I knew the path that I was headed was worse than any that I felt before
You blew my mind with each passing second; hearing and feeling your words and sorrow I was contemplated a solemn future. I knew but did you?

Keeping everything from you without having to raise my voice, I broke with my past
relying on you to figure out where I come from was starting to seem bleak
I lied so you could be apart of me; I felt something there was a voice I couldnt deny
sorry's don't even begin to cover the feeling when I finally came to and was merely
torn apart by how I truly felt, I don't have the will inside me to keep it hidden
instead of keeping things a secret, I decided to make a sound and I'm pleading
now I realize I'm just at another pass and I swear these things will come to a pass.

So forgive me when I say I acted foolishly - believe me when I say I regret ever even opening my mouth. I am just an empty shell looking for something else and you fell right into the cross hairs and you far exceeded any expectation I ever set for anyone. So take my apology and let's never mention this again?

My Love, My Lore

J
  effr
ey

Lost, scattered                                                                          

A l
                    a N

Misplaced, unfortunate

B
u
   t
      l
        e
           r
Forever falling, collapsing

                                                           M        L
                                                        L       y     o
                                                          o           v
                                                              r     e
                                                                 E
Without Reasoning
             Every Word That
                          I Want To Speak
                                     Will Only Come As
                                             A Whisper In the Dark
                                                       While You Use Them As
                                                                                    S-T-E-P-S





   !      S          !      R             !
    !         T    !           M            !
     !           O    !      !     Y     !           !
      !   !                                    !
       !           W    A    H   R        !
        !       !       E     T    E   !   !       !
                                                               

To the valentine that I wish I had. To the feelings that we could have felt. To the hundred reasons why I'd never date, to you being the one exception I feel I could never grow to hate. To the beautiful girl, to the amazing smile - to the long lost giggle, that I feel has been misplaced.

With every growing day, I want to grow closer, the minutes that pass by, I try to seem playful. Words could barely express how much I hold back day to day from telling you the truth. But with no backbone, and a spine full of fear , expressing my want for you is more than I can bare.

Given what I was dealt, I have found no positive solution, to call you my own would merely be but a misplaced allocation. The fear of seeing you with someone else but me makes me grow sad, to not even know the truth, will only make me enrage.

This advent day when I pour my unrequited feelings for you. Would it be mocked? Or would it be chuckled in silence? A concept that I can not grasp, will shutter in silence for months to come.

Will the moment be nigh when I break all fears? To tell you how I feel, that's a champions true undoing. Becoming vulnerable once again, what I wouldn't give to call you my own.

Collab Writing #1

I was misconstrued with every word that dribbled out of my locked jaw, I was judged by every movement that I made, I twisted and I turned to break free of this lock, I was fighting myself - I was fighting what every person in the world has fought, with the exception of Ebenezer Scrooge, I was love struck, I was dumb founded, I was pierced by cupids arrow - and just in time for another fabricated holiday - here's to you girl of my dream - a dozen roses, a creepily written letter, and a box full of heart clogging chocolates. Love's a bitch, and leaves that undesirable itch.

Muffled Roar

There's definitely something that's incredibly unnerving about the thought of you. Your mere existence is vile, and makes my stomach turn. The fact that something such as yourself could ever cease to partake in my every day life baffles me. You are the guest that I serve.

Working as a waiter, a server, a bitch with no back - I've learned things about people, your true colors shine when you are put in a position of power - how you treat those that are considered "under neath" you. "

A dining experience is more than you've summed it up to be, You figured - "Hey, I'll just walk in, get a seat, eat my food and act like a complete imbecile to my waiter, stiff him/her and walk out of the restaurant with five more dollars in my pocket." Well you ought to know, guy who wears a polo-sweater, senor douche bag who want's extra this, extra that - guy who has absolute no respect for the person that handles your food, your drinks, you can talk down to me, you can shit on my day - but realize this. Who's really in the power seat? The guy that has your food and drink? Or you? The guy who pays for food at half a star restaurant and decided he was going to tip piss poor the minute he walked in the door.

So I say to you - Guy/Woman that we all hate - Think twice before you spit on us, you may be getting your just desserts.

The one that got away

With the most pretentious eyes
such a beautiful demise
The girl my dreams
the one who sings
the lover of lovers
the heart struck fever,
 lost with rhymes
 a bitter sweet compromise

I sit and I write,
I fight and I bargain
To get her back
in her dark lust filled lies

A slithering snake
upon a grape vine
to squeeze the life
and ferment for days
I sit to thee, and drink my wine
for I am a box
mimicked by mimes

I hate you
I loathe you
I wanted you
I dismissed you

You called to me
I answered
You cried
and I comforted
We were both at ease with wanting each other
a life long answer
I of course accepted
For you to treat me so foolishly
as you cantered with laughter
I felt no greater disaster

I am not bitter
I am not soft
I have not given into the things you have lost
they will all buy it for now
because they know no better
but in moments time
They'll join me
In a heartfelt rapture