I hate my job.

Things that make me cringe:

1. Ordering water and asking for "extra lemons" and "extra sugar!"
Just order a damn lemonade!!!

...2. Asking, "Do you have any crayons for the kids?"

3. People who mis-pronounce food items: "I'll have the Cheeyanti!"
(Chianti)
OR "Puhnay Ruhsteekuh (Penne Rustica) ‎4. Ending all items in the plural tense: shrimps (shrimp), grenadines (grenadine)
5. "Get me a ummmmmmm!!!!!"
6. "Waters all around!!!!!"
7. People who still think tipping 15% is appropriate. It's now 18-20% Where the hell h...ave these people been?
8. People who request a booth, when their clearly isnt any open
9. "What you got that's free refills?"
10. People who order anything "extra, extra, extra well done!"
11. People who overuse your name after reading it on your name tag.
12. People who sit down to eat 15 minutes before last call!
1...3. Nagging, annoying, bitchy, picky women, especially business woman, and then they don't tip!!!!!
14. People who leave euro cent change on the table
15. People who write little notes on the table about your service , or how they dont have the money to tip - IF YOU CANT TIP - STAY HOME.

Dear People, Tips = To insure prompt service.
Also, when I ask you what you would like to drink, don't say "red wine" or "white wine." Please indicate a specific fucking type and/or brand. Thank you and good luck (inbreeds).

1. "Can we get the rosemary bread without rosemary?" - Yes, let me pluck out every individual fucking piece of rosemary out of the bread
2. The fucks that ask "Where's the balsamic?" when you only have all their fucking drinks in your hand.... "Hold on, its right here, let me pull it out my ass.
3. When you hook a table up - and they still leave you a shitty tip! "You fuck! I just saved you 30$ and you leave me 4$?!?"
4. "how much does that cost?"..if you have to ask how much a side of mashed potatoes is..we have a problem.
5. If a customer mentions the tip during the meal, as in before, during, or after the meal, it is almost guaranteed to be not that much.
6.Me: Pepper corn Ranch, Creamy Italian, Fat free italian,Caesar, Balsamic vinigrette
Them: Oh! Ill take Blue Cheese!
When the fuck did I say blue cheese?
7. "Your coffee tastes like shit!" Okay, what am I suppose to do about it? It's freshly brewed and it's hot. Either drink it, or get over it. Not my fucking problem.
8. "We're in a hurry.... I'll take a chianti steak. Well done." Seriously?
9. A twenty top playing musical chairs after the food has been ordered, but before they tell you who is on each split check.
10.If you want a cappuccino, ask for a cappuccino. Not a cup of chino, a chino, or a cafechino. Seriously. If you can't say it, you don't deserve to eat/drink it.
11. Don't interrupt me while I'm at another table.
12. Your food preparation is NOT MY FAULT. I'll do my best to correct it, but don't screw me on the tip.
13. Don't be ignorant. If you need three things, ask me for them all at once.